A system cleaning

I did not realize what was going on with me until about 5 days ago. I am not affected by them Opioid Crisis at all even though I do take pain medication. My doctor warned me ahead of time thankfully. I started weening off all pills because of the thought of addiction or a better term for it, dependence. I don’t want to need to take a pill to feel better every single time I am in pain or stiff or etc. As you get order, those pills will eat the lining of your stomach. I have been on some sort of pain medication since I was 12 taking Naproxen. Since 2009, I have been very careful with the amount of medication I take. Mainly because I have a child and need to stay alert when she is under my care.

Dystonia makes you feel old before your time and the treatment can sometimes be 11 to 12 pills a day or more. At some point I had too much medication. And I needed to take most of it to function. Times are different now. Now I have the Marijuana Card or license back, I need less pills. The bad news is that I am purposely weening myself off all these pills. But I am suffering from withdrawal. It is not bad and I had it worse when I was dependant on Klonopin. I had constant migraines. I would have to take a pill just to get some relief. This time I don’t know what pills are causing the withdrawal. It feels like I need something like a cigar, but I don’t. I am a bit jittery but I am not twitching or shaking too much in the day time. At night I am jerking and waking myself up out of my sleep.

I am micro dosing the Marijuana to get me through the day with the least amount of pills as possible. The withdrawal syptoms would be really hard to deal with if I wasn’t able to get the Medical Marijuana. The nausea and vomiting is withdrawal too. That was the warning sign and also a good sign. I am getting this medicine out of my system slowly. If I do it too fast, I wouldn’t be able to afford to smoke my medicine because I would need more. Luckily the growers are trying to help me and cutting me some deals at the shop. They noticed how I was walking and could immediately tell it was my ankles now. I am going to get my compression stockings today or tomorrow and also that blood pressure monitor. I also need to put the prescription in for the water pills because we do know that I am retaining water for sure. What we don’t know yet is the reason why and I don’t think the x-rays will give us the answer although I am still going to have them done.

With this pen and a little strain mixing, I am able to function well through the day with some pain. The pain would be worse if I didn’t vape or smoke something. It is an article out about how dangerous it is to vape oil because of the tar. Tar? It also says that we as consumers do not know what is in the oil. Why we don’t? I know who it came from. A grower who sells to the shop and the shop sells very good oil. It has been tested and they can explain to you what is in it. People are laughing at the article but it does show how ignorant some people can be. I would be more concerned with the Marijuana itself and how it was grown since I am putting it in my body. All my doctor’s support it but one. The pain management doctor who comes to the house. The bottom line is that I look and feel much more alert and functional in the morning especially.

I have been able to get up with my daughter every day before she goes to school. The withdrawal she can not tell. It is not noticable. I can do her hair on one day and mine on the next. I have been doing %80 of everything from my bed because of the swelling. Right now it is my feet. They are puffy. My daughter knows I have to rest a lot and she also knows that my eye swelling up is worse than my ankles. She knows how it feels because it happened to her once and we do not know the exact cause. We do know it was her allergies and she needed to go to the ER. I just use a hot towel but would be so embarrassed if I had to go to work with my eye almost swollen closed. It affects your vision. And I have a droopy eye already that they wanted to do surgery on. I am able to keep my daughter while he is away handling business which I am proud of. I do not want to be absent during the important parts of her life. I haven’t took anymore pictures yet but I got the camera on the phone working better.

I will be adding more pictures to this blog soon. Not of me but of the products we use for our hair and other products I love. The movie section is empty for a reason. I haven’t watched a movie in some time. I have been reading more and playing the game. I still haven’t been able to play Destiny 2 that much. I always choose to play Mortal Kombat XL because I am getting better at it. I am finally used to wearing my glasses now. I usually don’t wear them in the house but I need to start trying more. I need to get up and put them on first. The Dystonia spread to my eyes years ago. My eyes are very sensitive to light. Even the TV and the phones. All the things that we use. I adjusted my devices that I own to my vision needs. The televisions in here are adjusted with more brightness so to watch certain movies, I need to wear the glasses to be on the safe side and for when I am playing the game too. I suffer from eye fatigue. Fatigue period. I can get through the withdrawal syptoms with this vape pen and a few other items that I am going to get. Cleaning my system out at this exact time if very important. At times, I clean all the Marijuana from my system to lower my tolerance. This way, I don’t get burnt out on cannabis.

 

Insomnia or is my sleep schedule off?

Once I started to limit my activity’s, I started sleeping all day and waking up in the middle of the night after everyone else is gone to bed. Not spending as much time with my daughter as I would like but even she knew I either needed to rest or go to Urgent Care. I decided to rest. This is day three or four days of basic bed rest. Luckily her father can make sure I have everything I need up the stairs.

The swelling is almost completely gone at this moment. The more I try to do, the more swelling I have and the pain from just a slight touch is too much for me. I can’t really even touch my own foot and my daughter stepped on it and so did her father. Of course from the sounds I made, they were very apologetic. They were accidentally stepping on it or laying on it. I haven’t really done much elevating for the swelling. I have been doing everything from the bed. It is still swollen from trying to sit up in the daytime. I am going to prop myself up with some pillows and then elevate Saturday and Sunday. I am ready for the game but have no idea what we are cooking. Living with a diabetic and a child with food allergies makes dinner a huge decision since we all need to be on different diets.

My weight is up instead of down for a change. I feel better but I need a lot of stuff to take care of my health properly and it cost money. I am going to take it one day at a time. Since he quit his job, he is home all the time temporarily. He feels better as a person but taking a loss in income at anytime is hard. We got big plans but I don’t want to have to struggle. Even though it would be for a moment. Like we got all this chicken but nobody wants to eat it. Need some more recipes with chicken in them. With him here, the heat turned down and the window be open. The light be on all the time and I can barely get to this Playstation. We are adjusting and luckily he is looking for work instead of just laying around all the time. He basically quit his job when his boss replaced him with his uncle. I don’t blame him but miss the income.

I am back to braiding hair after years of retirement. I only braid my hair and my daughters’. She likes beads, what they call BoBos, and berets. I don’t do beads and if I did, I would need a beading tool that comes with the beads. My hair is already braided thankfully. Her hair is clean but sucks up moisture very quickly. And our hair is growing. Once I wash my hair and add the oils to it, it stays moist. My daughter has eczema and her hair and scalp stays dry. I changed my Twitter profile picture to the hairstyle that I want to try. But by me not using too many products in my hair, I don’t have to wash it every two weeks like I used to which makes things easier for me. I am considering adding some weave to it soon. I want some color and the person who was dying my hair is too busy. I could try to do it myself and let it come out in more than one blended color but I will wait until it gets dirty to do the dye. Plus the dye that I am going to use is a powder which makes it more intimidating. I need a list of all the stuff I need to do it and you can get the list of things you will need from the website. Why powder you ask? Because I want Strawberry Blonde and I couldn’t find that color online when I was shopping except in the powder form. Braiding my daughter hair would be easier if she would let me freestyle but at her age, she wants specific hair styles like I mentioned before. Either way, I don’t have to stand up and braid since she is a kid and I need to get her some hair products from the beauty supply store.

The reason why I was posting so much about the games we are playing was because that is all I have been doing while in the bed. Playing games and writing. I posted a few poems here and noticed that this may be the wrong place to put that kind of poetry. What they call dark and explicit. No one liked the two that I did put up but I know a lot of people that enjoy reading my poems. When I had this site the first time, I posted a lot of poetry. I am working on a book of poems by me that has a warning label on it that says Mature like these games and CD’s do. The book is coming along fine but I haven’t been working on it at all this past week which was a rough one but it went by very fast. I ran out of cigars, right after I ran out of Pepsi. Single income family now basically until further notice and yes I am on him but also giving him some time to rest and think. He is a lot easier to deal with now that he is no longer working for that lady. He is drinking less too. I didn’t realize how bad it was for him until he quit. It was like he was finally able to exhale or something. We got our worries but not that many. These bills need to be paid right away as we all know.

For the new followers of this blog, thank you and please look around the site a bit. There is a lot of missing content but not because we are lazy. Because we have been busy and now we were resting up for today. I do not feel like going anywhere but I have that appointment today and really can’t reschedule it. So while I am out today, I am going to grab something to smoke on for a week or so. I know the doctor is probably going to tell me to take them opioids for the pain in my feet but I would rather smoke which they do and don’t have a problem with. However, my lungs and heart sound good. My thyroid test should be in a few weeks because I will not over book myself this month. That’s probably where the swelling came from. Doing too much running here and there in this cold. And it is not going to warm up anytime soon. It is 10 degrees right now with snow on the ground. I have to figure out how to get my feet into a pair of shoes but they are so sore that I am scared to try on some shoes and walk in them even in my own house. I have two pairs of comfortable shoes but I am taking my house shoes with me just in case. If the doctors are worried about inflammation, they will prescribe something like Motrin or Naproxen. I prescribe myself with small doses of marijuana for this pain. Just need to get up and go. I will be sure to wear my glasses so they can’t tell my eyes are red. Good morning to whoever took time to read this. It’s going to be a busy day for me.

 

 

 

Raising Awareness?

I have been trying to raise Dystonia Awareness but most people are not really interested in learning what it is and how it would affect their health. How many people see the word Dystonia and actually look up the meaning or wonder what it is. Most doctors can not diagnose it and you end up being diagnosed with other illnesses by mistake. I was diagnosed with MS which everyone has heard of but even I can’t remember how to spell it. Probably because I took the shots to treat it for two years and was then told by the Neurologist at the time that I didn’t have it. 7 years later, I am diagnosed with Myoclonic Dystonia and Occasional Tremors. Makes good sense to me. I have less control of my muscles than I did 10 years ago which means whatever I have is progressing along very slow.

I decided not to go to the Urgent Care because of the weather and my ride simply didn’t want to drive in this snow just so they could tell me the same thing the doctor said. Rest and elevate my feet. Watch what I eat and go light on the salt. I am not monitoring my blood pressure yet and I haven’t started any new medications. The soaking brought the swelling down a lot plus not being on my feet today or yesterday. I am not really even supposed to be sitting here typing this because the swelling can be caused by sitting to long. As far as Dystonia Awareness goes, I am raising a bit of awareness everyday but I do take a break from all the medical problems to focus on other things. Like raising my child and keeping our appearances up to the best of my ability.

I am using the laptop right now because he is gone and I only needed to use it for a hour before I play Mortal Kombat XL. I can prop myself up in the bed to play. It is cold with fresh snow on the ground. I don’t have to go to another appointment until Friday so it gives me plenty of time to rest, soak, and elevate through out each day and maybe by the time of my appointment, I can get my feet in them boots. I am the type of person who exercises by doing the stairs all day and I still am but not as much as normal and I am using half my speed making sure that I don’t step the wrong way and fall on the stairs again. I fell and twisted my ankle on the stairs last year and that hurt more than this does. This is more of an uncomfortable feeling and they seem to leave stuff in the walk ways as if they don’t remember that I can trip over it.

I am not focusing on the Dystonia right now because of the constant swelling in my feet, ankles, and part of my legs. It only really hurts when I try to bend the ankles or someone steps on my foot. There is no more swelling anywhere. Not even in my eyes right now. The marijuana helps with the pain and also helps with sleep. Some types work better than others. I am currently using THC instead of CBD for now and I am still using my pipe to smoke it. Such an easy way to do it and helps me dose myself. I am not really a recreational smoker or social. I am learning but I am aware that if it is not grown right or they use chemicals on it, it could have a negative affect on my muscles. It has happened in the past before I started to go get everything from a grower or the dispensary.

Nothing from that dispensary taste good or like it should but they keep the prices low since they are in the neighborhood. I am going somewhere else with better quality than them soon. I am also looking for something to help me sleep or relax the muscles. No more attacks since my last post about them which means that the cannabis is working. If I do have another attack, I know I don’t have to travel far for relief and on a good day, I can go a little bit father away to get better quality. And better tasting clean smoking marijuana. You can not imagine how many people try to sell me something through Twitter but they don’t have real pictures. If I was and I am going to sell something like that to anyone, I would definitely have a picture that is current and that I just didn’t do a Google search to find an image off it to trick someone into buying. So called weed men on Twitter seem to not understand this and they just grab an image off Google and DM you that waste of time picture that I can download myself. I sure hope when doing business on Twitter of this nature that you are being careful because these people are only out to get your money and once they get it, all you can do is complain. After all, they are not really using their real name. Some don’t even have enough sense to hold a conversation with a potential client but they love to spit that game like they can suck the credit card number out your pocket. I just have learned to ignore those DM’s now.

The laptop is more fun to use because of the keyboard. I can also see a lot better what I am typing on here than the new tablet. That AT&T Primetime tablet is really nice. Especially since it was free and you only have to pay $10 a month to have one of your own. It has the speakers on the front instead of the back which is a plus and it takes amazing pictures. The battery life is good fresh out the box and all you do is sign in to your Google account to get all your apps on the new device and then connect it to or discover other devices. It was an easy set up. It came by delivery in a timely manner. I have switched from the laptop to the tablet but I am able to continue where I left off. The prediction of the next word you might type is good and it has auto correct already on it. There really isn’t much that I had to do to set it up and I was able to turn the tablet into a phone just by following the very simple instructions on the screen. I fixed the settings for the keyboard and found what I was looking for. I wish this tablet would automatically put a period at the end of a sentence but my phone can’t even do that. I am using G Board by Google. You can really customize the way it looks and feels when you type. 👍

Good Morning

I can’t take it anymore. I need to go to the Urgent Care and have them look at my feet and ankles. The swelling is worse than it was. The picture was just me playing with the camera on this ATT Primetime tablet. It takes great pictures and I like it so far. When you just basically on bed rest, you find things to do while in the bed. Of course you can watch movies and use your devices but you can’t sit or stand too long. Walking is even worse and I may not be able to put my boots on and go out in the snow.

I don’t know how much snow we have because I was resting all day yesterday. I had an appointment with the doctor but she was sick. I have to reschedule but I need medical evaluation right now. I am not scared but do wonder all day long what the cause of the swelling is. Rather than laying around and resting all day, I need to go see about my feet. They feel almost numb. I soaked them in hot water this morning really early and put some Peppermint oil on my feet and ankles. They feel better right now but you can’t deny something is wrong.
There are a lot of post here but like I said, trying to keep new content is easier if you schedule your post. I can even schedule a good morning post to Twitter everyday. I haven’t really been able to change all the settings on this tablet yet. I was so tired that when it arrived, they opened it and took a peek. I was sleeping so well again that they tried not to disturb me. This swelling got worse again when I braided my hair. I had to wash it and blow dry it first. The next day I braided it and haven’t did anything else. My daughter immediately looked at my feet and told me I needed to go somewhere soon. I am going to the Urgent Care that she goes to. I don’t think this is an emergency but I can’t keep wondering what is going on. I need to know something right away.
If I don’t post for a few days or so, it’s because I am getting more rest and my only excercise is going up and down the stairs for water and food if they are sleep of gone somewhere. I would have took a better picture but I need to relax for a minute. I have to get up with my daughter every morning before school. I am exhausted from trying to fix me some breakfast and soaking my feet downstairs in really hot water and Dawn dish washing liquid. They look a little better. Need another pedicure. Hopefully we go early enough this morning so I can get back home and get in the bed. That NordVPN is what was causing all the devices to run slow. I did a test without a VPN and one with a new VPN. The devices worked much better for me. I am using a VPN on all my devices except one which is his laptop. That is how I figured it out. It wasn’t the internet speed so no need to call Customer Service. Just needed to completely uninstall that NordVPN app from everything. I will tell you which VPN I am using now soon as I get a chance.

It really hurts to even move my right ankle. It feels like a strain or like I twisted it which I didn’t do. Because he is at home more now, we fighting over space and the PlayStation. We don’t have to fight about the laptop anymore now that I have the tablet running smoothly. I actually fixed all the devices before I went to sleep. I woke up at 6:30 in the evening. And still felt tired. I think I may need to eat something else because I am still hungry. Maybe he will cook us some bacon and eggs for breakfast if he is feeling okay. He is an insulin diabetic. His sugar has been high the last few days but he does check it regularly which makes me feel better about it. But it also makes him tired sometimes. Depending on what he has been eating or if he really ate at all.

My seven year old daughter is now reading as much of what I write as she can which is good sometimes but bad at others. I realize now that we can’t share a tablet which is why I had to get another one. She bores easily. From the Switch, Netflix, PlayStation 4, and Cordy 2 on the other tablet. This one didn’t come with those stock games which is also good. I managed to take a look outside and there is quite a bit of snow. He said that it snowed all day while I was sleeping. He was right. My feet are going to be really cold in house shoes. I may do what they used to even though it looks tacky. Cover my house shoes with a plastic bag or two so my feet stay warm and don’t get wet. There is no possibility that I can get any other pair of shoes on. It would hurt too much. I have what I am going to wear already picked out. All I need is some food and a quick nap, and I will be ready to go.

  

 

 

Swelling

This swelling issue has been going on for too long and my ankles, feet and legs hurt. Since it was my first time seeing the new doctor, when I showed her my ankle, she didn’t really act like it was a big deal. My eye she said it would be easier to figure out what is going on with it, if she could have seen it first hand. Like I said in a previous post, she thinks it is my allergies even though I take allergy medicine everyday. She also said that I could have built up a tolerance for the kind that I take and said to rotate this one with the other kind. When my eyes are puffy or almost swollen closed, I am supposed to take the Zyrtec and it should bring the swelling down. No more hot towels according to her.

The pictures didn’t really show how bad the eye swelling was. Since this past Friday when I saw the doctor, my right eye was swollen instead of my left and now both of my feet. Part of my leg too. I haven’t filled the prescription yet or I need to go pick it up from the pharmacy. Both of my feet are swollen as well as my ankles. The swelling had gotten so bad that it had spread up into my right leg just below the knee and all the way to the foot. Everything felt tight when I woke up, I knew something was wrong since I had the same feeling with my eyes. I have limited my activities but still have to go up and down the stairs and that hurts. It is like I am on bed rest but making progress. I can’t do my hair yet because I would have to take a break from that standing with every braid.

I didn’t really elevate them. I didn’t try soaking. My other doctor which is Pain Management doc told me to limit my standing and or walking when they swell and I should be fine. He said it wasn’t a big deal in most people but in someone with my illness it is. I would rather go through the Internal Medicine doctor for this because it is more in line with the type of care she can provide. I also have two doctors that come out to the house at least once a month. One can take a look at my ankles and feet today. His office called yesterday to set up a home visit. I can show them to him and get a second opinion. The other doctor doesn’t want me to have these doctors who come to my house if I am going to be a patient of hers. She says that is like too many cooks in the kitchen but for me it is like a second opinion and a fresh set of eyes. Especially since it is limiting my daily activities at home with my child. She always needs something.

I have two appointments today and one I have to go out the house for. That will be a challenge. I can walk but it is really harder with my feet like this. I picked out all my so called outfits before the pain got this bad and hung them up in the closet. That way I can just grab one and be done. It hurts to even sit here and type this but I am not standing on my feet for sure. My ankles hurt when I try to move them and I can barely move the right one. I would feel a lot better if they were just swollen without the pain. The pain makes it hard for me to concentrate and nobody should have to lay and suffer in pain. I just don’t want to take a pain pill for it. It could get worse with me going to the doctor and coming back and that is when I would need a pill maybe. We all know about the opioid crisis and I don’t want to end up like that.

Everything is weird now with him being at home more. We have had one disagreement or two in the past few days. And they are still calling him to come in. He didn’t give them any notice. He told his boss how he needs things to be again and she ignored him again. Now he is really fed up and a bit cranky. I am lucky I can even use the laptop right now. Hopefully he got us some medicine. It may not be for pain necessarily, but it will help with the stiffness. It’s almost the weekend and I can really get some rest. Staying off my feet makes me feel lazy because it means I can’t exercise like I normally do. Going up and down the stairs all day is part of my daily routine. I do those stairs with pleasure. My Pain Management doctor was trying to put me in a wheel chair and I was not going to except that. I can’t walk normal like everyone else already. I am walking even worse right now. I am going down the stairs just to get water which someone can bring me but I don’t want to be a bother. I am glad that I do have some kind of help. Some people with Dystonia don’t and these Home Health Care Providers need to be getting paid more money for the work they do.

U use a pipe to smoke?

Behind closed doors I do. Most people just roll up but I can’t roll. I have to learn how to do it all over again. Trying to roll up anything when are shaking just isn’t going to happen. It’s hard enough for me to break down. I use a grinder sometimes. I smoke blunts and joints. Next time I am going to try to roll a joint. I like to do stuff that requires me to think first. How am I going to do it. I used to roll up twice a day with Swisher’s. I bought them by the case to save money. I was buying strawberry to cover up the taste of the depensary’s medical. Some of it worked but had a bad taste. I like mine to taste good.

Piping it gives you the actual taste as long as you keep your pipe clean. A gram of something that works really good will last me 3 days. I have low tolerance to some strains. And it depends on where I got it from. I tried a new dispensary today and got a free sample of some type of pre rolled. It tasted like it smelled. I wouldn’t buy it. I got what they call Fruity pebbles today. Last thing I tried was Wedding Cake 🍰 which they do keep but it cost more of course. Their prices were good for the selection they had. I am going to a different one next time. It is really nice and big. They sell Kosher which is for pain.

Many people with my disability are scared to try it. I tried it because I ran out of pills. It can happen to anybody. The pipe I bought because I love the way it looks and it breaks down into three pieces. It is easy to clean with water and pipe cleaners. The bowl is too small for some people, but not me. I medicate a little bit at a time. I normally smoke only Indica. Works good for the body and you don’t feel to amped up. The free one I was puffing on is now in the pipe. Somebody had to teach me how to use a pipe. I used to hate for my eyes to be red. The glasses I keep learning to wear because of that reason. Plus the help keep sunlight out my eyes since they are so sensitive now.

I appreciate delivery and my papers for my license were delivered to me ready to go. When I was feeling better, I went up there to visit the owners. The hold up was that doctor was out of town. When he got back in, he called me right away and I sent him my medical info from my last appointment. My papers were ready the next day. I was getting frustrated on how long it was taking. Like that pipe took 2 weeks or more to come. The new tablet comes next month.

Since he quit that job, it really don’t matter. I would think that they fired him and he just didn’t want to say. But they were calling. He was calling about a roofing job.

My hair is washed, detangled and oiled. I also did a blow out. After all that, my Dystonia started acting up. My pipe was ready and clean just in case I could go get something or have it delivered. So I went out dressed for spring with my favorite hoodie on. Thanks to that muscle relaxer I took. I was in that bad of shape and have been laying down since I got back. I can relax now and maybe get some sleep.