Tired from doing what?

The biggest part of having Dystonia is the progression but just as important is the fatigue. You can get all the sleep that is possible and still wake up feeling what we call “tired”. People ask what I did today that would cause me to be so tired but it’s not what I did today that makes me tired. It could be me being tired from what I did the day before. Yes. They day before or even the day before that.

Most of us use different methods to stay woke but the medications we take make us drowsy and come with that do not drive or operate heavy machinery warning. I have been trying to stay woke all day and go to bed at the same time every night. It is working to a certain extent. I need something to do still even though I am disabled and retired. Recently, I have been having problems opening my eyes in the morning again. This makes getting up everyday even harder. Sometimes I can’t go to sleep at night and end up sleeping all day. No matter what I do or don’t do, I am still going to suffer from fatigue during the day and especially in the morning when I am about to start the day.

I have been working on this website and connecting with more people who are interested in African American Trades & Goods. I myself am trying to start a business selling the oil combinations that I make and use for me and my daughters’ hair which she believes is making our hair grow. Right now, we both have the same hair style. High Pony Tails. Hers is bigger than mine of course. This is because the person who was supposed to do our hair is busy. Our hair is long enough to get away with neat ponytails now so why not wear one.

I have went through the withdrawal symptoms of taking Valium for all those years and came out on the other side just fine. I am glad I have medical marijuana access in my state because that helped a lot with the nausea and insomnia. The down side is that I have a higher tolerance now. I need a certain dosage a day to stop the tremors. I smoke more if the quality is bad like what I just recently bought and yes, even with a license or card, you still can end up with old or weaker strains of what you need. Even though you are going to a dispensary. Look close before you buy is what you should do.

I am feeling much better now that I am no longer dependent on any medication finally. I feel so much better that I am going to celebrate soon. I was getting my hair done by a family member just to get it done. I really don’t have any plans to go any where. I just want somebody I know does good work to braid my hair for a change. Of course it is not for free but it is a family discount that I can use and part of African American Trades & Goods.  We are just getting the goods in now and the site is going to be updated soon. Please do subscribe or I will keep you posted here as the changes are made and the site gets new content.

A system cleaning

I did not realize what was going on with me until about 5 days ago. I am not affected by them Opioid Crisis at all even though I do take pain medication. My doctor warned me ahead of time thankfully. I started weening off all pills because of the thought of addiction or a better term for it, dependence. I don’t want to need to take a pill to feel better every single time I am in pain or stiff or etc. As you get order, those pills will eat the lining of your stomach. I have been on some sort of pain medication since I was 12 taking Naproxen. Since 2009, I have been very careful with the amount of medication I take. Mainly because I have a child and need to stay alert when she is under my care.

Dystonia makes you feel old before your time and the treatment can sometimes be 11 to 12 pills a day or more. At some point I had too much medication. And I needed to take most of it to function. Times are different now. Now I have the Marijuana Card or license back, I need less pills. The bad news is that I am purposely weening myself off all these pills. But I am suffering from withdrawal. It is not bad and I had it worse when I was dependant on Klonopin. I had constant migraines. I would have to take a pill just to get some relief. This time I don’t know what pills are causing the withdrawal. It feels like I need something like a cigar, but I don’t. I am a bit jittery but I am not twitching or shaking too much in the day time. At night I am jerking and waking myself up out of my sleep.

I am micro dosing the Marijuana to get me through the day with the least amount of pills as possible. The withdrawal syptoms would be really hard to deal with if I wasn’t able to get the Medical Marijuana. The nausea and vomiting is withdrawal too. That was the warning sign and also a good sign. I am getting this medicine out of my system slowly. If I do it too fast, I wouldn’t be able to afford to smoke my medicine because I would need more. Luckily the growers are trying to help me and cutting me some deals at the shop. They noticed how I was walking and could immediately tell it was my ankles now. I am going to get my compression stockings today or tomorrow and also that blood pressure monitor. I also need to put the prescription in for the water pills because we do know that I am retaining water for sure. What we don’t know yet is the reason why and I don’t think the x-rays will give us the answer although I am still going to have them done.

With this pen and a little strain mixing, I am able to function well through the day with some pain. The pain would be worse if I didn’t vape or smoke something. It is an article out about how dangerous it is to vape oil because of the tar. Tar? It also says that we as consumers do not know what is in the oil. Why we don’t? I know who it came from. A grower who sells to the shop and the shop sells very good oil. It has been tested and they can explain to you what is in it. People are laughing at the article but it does show how ignorant some people can be. I would be more concerned with the Marijuana itself and how it was grown since I am putting it in my body. All my doctor’s support it but one. The pain management doctor who comes to the house. The bottom line is that I look and feel much more alert and functional in the morning especially.

I have been able to get up with my daughter every day before she goes to school. The withdrawal she can not tell. It is not noticable. I can do her hair on one day and mine on the next. I have been doing %80 of everything from my bed because of the swelling. Right now it is my feet. They are puffy. My daughter knows I have to rest a lot and she also knows that my eye swelling up is worse than my ankles. She knows how it feels because it happened to her once and we do not know the exact cause. We do know it was her allergies and she needed to go to the ER. I just use a hot towel but would be so embarrassed if I had to go to work with my eye almost swollen closed. It affects your vision. And I have a droopy eye already that they wanted to do surgery on. I am able to keep my daughter while he is away handling business which I am proud of. I do not want to be absent during the important parts of her life. I haven’t took anymore pictures yet but I got the camera on the phone working better.

I will be adding more pictures to this blog soon. Not of me but of the products we use for our hair and other products I love. The movie section is empty for a reason. I haven’t watched a movie in some time. I have been reading more and playing the game. I still haven’t been able to play Destiny 2 that much. I always choose to play Mortal Kombat XL because I am getting better at it. I am finally used to wearing my glasses now. I usually don’t wear them in the house but I need to start trying more. I need to get up and put them on first. The Dystonia spread to my eyes years ago. My eyes are very sensitive to light. Even the TV and the phones. All the things that we use. I adjusted my devices that I own to my vision needs. The televisions in here are adjusted with more brightness so to watch certain movies, I need to wear the glasses to be on the safe side and for when I am playing the game too. I suffer from eye fatigue. Fatigue period. I can get through the withdrawal syptoms with this vape pen and a few other items that I am going to get. Cleaning my system out at this exact time if very important. At times, I clean all the Marijuana from my system to lower my tolerance. This way, I don’t get burnt out on cannabis.